Love dies not seek it's own

I Corinthians 13:4

On Sunday's we're going through I Cor. 12-14 talking about Spiritual Gifts and smack dab in the middles of that is the "Love" portion of scripture which has made for a "mini series" on love the past 2 months or so. It's been a few weeks since this verse was the base for the message, but every day it rings back in my head.

As I look back over situations I've been over the years, at times I am so ashamed of my actions. The thing that makes me the most sad is 4 years I spent clamouring after my own desires in college.
At Cedarville I attended a "support group" for women with "eating disorders." It was psychologically based and could better be titled a support group for people angry at God, Life and their parents. My desire to be thin and beautiful in the world's eyes made me bliind to the needs of others around me. I was so hung up on my looks it's disgusting!
One of the books we read in this group was about what's causing these behaviours, a psychological evaluation of ourselves. After reading that book I dropped out of the group. It made me even worse, not better. It legitimized my anger and told me my parents, church and school life was the cause of my actions.

Finally my mom, who was studying Biblical counseling, told me I was sinning and gave me a book to read. I never read the book, was way to prideful. But I knew she was so right on. My "disease" was really sin in my heart - wanting things on my terms and not on God's. In other words "seeking my own". Of course I didn't admit that to her right away....had to break down my pride.

But those years spent in slavery to my body have given me a whole new perspective when I hear a sermon on I Cor. 13. I wasted so much time seeking my own that I missed out on being able to bless and encourage others. I wish with all my heart that first day I'd walked into that meeting they'd thrown the book at me and said "Hey, you claim to be a Christian - where's the proof?" Because all that psychology did was legitimize our anger and fuel our habits. From my own expericene, I don't know how psychological "help" really helps anyone. I'm afraid so many Christians are going to these types of counselors because it appeals to the flesh. It legitimizes the "victim" mentality.

Anyways...I've gone on long enough. Praise the Lord for His forgiveness and that in Him we are "a new creature." Amen? But let us not get caught up in the ideas of the world - the Bible must be the One Book we go to for "doctrine for reproof and for instruction in righteousness."

Just some thoughts...